In a feeble effort to justify our poor taste, we sat slumped on piles of empty wine boxes, and explained this statistic to second-year Engineering student 
Nicole White. Her sharp technical mind quickly saw past Franzia's statistical numerology.
"Maybe that's because people who drink box wine tend to drink it by the gallon," she said as she inched towards the oh-so Delicious Peter Vella Red. (Bitch.) 

Wine is the drink of the aristocracy -- consumed for its rich flavor, its intoxicating aroma, and its sheer snob appeal.
It must be served at the proper temperature, in the appropriate glass, and with food that complements its undertones.
It simply begs to be savored. None of this holds true for box wine. We drink it warm, we drink it cold. 
We drink it out of cappuccino mugs, Holiday Inn courtesy cups, even Snapple bottles (excellent for in-class consumption). 
We accompany it with Twizzlers, micro-waved fondue cheese, or nothing at all (not recommended). 
Although it would be near impossible to actually savor the flavor of the wine, we did savor its effects. 
The box even earned the affectionate epithet: "two cubic feet of fun."